vbs: the best form of birth control

Here at covenant, we've decided to make SURE our kids don't do anything stupid - like get pregnant. How do we do this? We tell them its wrong, use cheesy analogies, call them late at night when they may be in compromising situations and . . . make them work Vacation Bible School.  Hundreds of kids between the ages of 4 and 4th grade will convince anyone not to have babies. Who wants their house to have that distinct odor of the halls during vbs? You know, cheerios mixed with play-dough and poop (maybe some citrus disinfectant mixed in there).  I hate that smell. Maybe when you have a kid you start to not mind, like, because you really love them. That's a lot of love, enough to get over weird smells. But i digress:

So i have some stories from that. One: kids say really funny things. Here are a few:

- teacher: whoever wants to get a special sticker can be my super silent cleaner upper!

   kid: I have an announcement. Whoever doesn't do that can play tag with me.

  (wow, what a choice . . .)

- recreation 'coach' : wow! the girls keep winning! that's awesome!

- first grade girl: that's because i'm a black belt.

  (so it naturally follows that all girls would be good at red light green light, oh, and 1st    graders can really be black belts. riiiight.)

- teacher: who wants to play duck duck goose?

-5 year old girl (after a second of silence): none of us do!

It is REALLY funny, and really exhausting. And I am not ready to have a little person to take care of. I mean, i can barely handle my tiny herb garden (i realized the other day that i would have to have someone take care of it while i'm gone - even that is too much responsibility). And kids need a lot of stuff - like someone to hold their hand while they go to the bathroom, or to clean them up when they didn't quite make it to the bathroom. Just not ready for that. And the great thing is: neither are my high schoolers. I don't care how cool Juno made it look. No pregnancy for these girls , they have made that clear.

My work here is done. 

This Blog brought to you courtesy of Becca V. (soon to be Becca S.)

Well, I'm back in the blogging world, fully expecting this page only to be read by 3 people: myself, becca (who has forced me to start yet another blog) and kelley (my forever faithful blog reader).  I have no idea what the contents will be b/c most of my stories can't be told to the masses BUT we shall see. I guess for starters i will remind you of 5 things:

1. I do have one of the most entertaining jobs in the world: professional high schooler wanna - be.  That does tend to provide lots of good material for blogging.

2. I am recently married. And going through trying to be simultaneously domestic and cool - a feat not easily achieved. That too, has the potential to provide lots of entertainment (especially since only about 1/8 of me is naturally domestic.

3.  Much like Becca and Kelley, if something in my life can get complicated, it will. And i've found the best way to deal with it is to turn it into a joke (only sometimes i have to embellish to make it actually funny and not so sad and depressing).

4. I like to deal with my insecurities through humor.

5. I am really funny. Especially when becca or kelley are my audience. 

That being said, here we go: blog number 3 . . . . adventures in b-ham.